Sugar & Spice

I’ve been feeling bummed, beating myself with frustration over things I have absolute no control of and can’t change as I please. My emotional biorhythm is in -85. I’ve always thought that the best way to ventilate emotions is by writing them out and giving them some sense of form; so when a close friend tagged me on a “15 things I hate about you” Facebook note, it felt suiting for me to do a “things I hate about myself list” and this is what came out.

10 things I hate about myself:

1. How sometimes I just can’t let go.
2. How much I fear.
3. How easy it is for me to alienate.
4. How smart I am over my feelings and how frequently they run over my intelligence.
5. How shy I can get.
6. How I can never manage to control my horrible sleeping habits.
7. How much I over-analyze the simple.
8. How conflict-avoiding I am (sometimes you need conflict to build character).
9. How fast I forget what matters, and how easily I can remember every small little detail.
10. How unreasonably self-conscious I can get without a motive under perfectly normal circumstances.

It became apparent to me that, although it usually takes me some time to do listings, I could specifically figure this one out in a matter of a stupidly fast 15 minutes. I thought “No. This is unacceptable”, and decided to do something to null it. That’s how I came up with “things I love about myself” counterpart:

10 things I love about myself:

1. How conflict-avoiding I am (hey, it tends to keep me in good terms with the world).
2. How I don’t rely on others’ opinion to do something.
3. How I can never stay angry.
4. How excited I can get over small things.
5. How I can step out of the norm.
6. How I don’t strive for attention, but neither allow myself to be taken for granted.
7. How my hair always seems to fall into place, no matter what.
8. How I’ve manage to overcome stuff that didn’t please me.
9. How determined I can be whenever I say “enough”.
10. How blessed I am for the family that I have.

Now, make your own list Besos.

Last night like so many other nights, I just couldn’t sleep…
Thinking of what to do I went through all my books and notebooks hoping I was going to find something to do but instead I found this:

English Translations to that would be:
“I love you more than anything in this world.
Never stop believing in yourself.
Love you.
Adriana”

Adriana is my 15 yr. old sister and she is just the most amazing person you will ever get to meet in your life. Her words are quiet and short but behind that silence there is so much to be said. She’s naive but so mature at the same time; so loyal, so selfless, so compassionate. If you are lucky enough you will have the privilege of looking at the most amazing pair of eyes you will see in your life. She’s worth more than she or anyone could imagine and it just take one look into her eyes to see her transparency and good vibes. This world would be a much much much better world if there were more Adrianas. I can bet my life on it.

Thank you A for always being there for me. It’s because of you that everyday I want to be a better person. I want you to be proud of me just as I am proud of you.

Learn, laugh, take risks, love; but never ever stop being the little ray of sunshine that you are. That’s what makes you so special. You should know that by now.

Luv You Too Sis.

…and when I say we I mean the whole crew!!!
Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister #1, Sister #2 and of course Me!

We will be spending Thanksgiving at my uncles in Manhattan.

Does anyone knows what Thanksgiving at NYC means???

YES!!!!! Macy’s Parade!!!!!!!!

I am as excited as a kid on Christmas morning. It’s been a while since the last time we spent Thanksgiving in New York and I am really looking forward to it.

A couple of months ago my 15 yr. old sister asked me if I was sexually active. After almost choking with my own saliva and try to act cool I replied her question with another question. I was just not expecting it. We were watching TV in her bedroom and out of the blue she asked.

“Have you ever had sex?” - her
“Ah? Why you ask me that?” - me
“I don’t know. Is it wrong to ask?” - me
“No. I was just not expecting it and yes I have.” - me
“Everyone in school is doing it with everyone. So wrong.” - her
“Very wrong. You see, sex is not a bad thing, but right now nor you nor your classmates or friends are prepared to the responsibilities sex could led you.” - me
“Yeah, I know” - her

Then I just couldn’t hold it anymore…

“Have you done it?” - me
“NO! I am not that stupid” - her

Oh boy I felt so relieved.

So, apparently everyone kept on having sex with everyone and now one of her classmates is pregnant by another classmate. You see, it was all kept in the same class. How cute!

…and no, I’m not tying to be an ass but come on!!

Now, either she terminates the pregnancy before the school administration finds out or she will be expelled from school and cute sweet ’superman’ will have to tag along because it’s private school.

Poor rich kids…

1. The day I met my little sister.
2. The way my grandmother used to sing to us.
2. The day I got the acceptance letter for MedSchool.
3. My parent’s faces when I told them.
4. My high school graduation.
5. Thanksgiving 2007 and his “Would you marry me?”
6. The day that I found the emails in his computer.
7. My first swimming lesson.
8. The first time someone called me ‘Doctor’ and I was only a summer intern.
9. Disney World. New York City. Spain. Morocco.
10. The smell of pool chlorine at 5am.

This morning I was victim of a scam.
..you got it right a scam!

I got up and went downstairs only to find that the walls were being painted. Just like me, once in a while my mom gets this urge to change the colors of the house and move everything around. So today was the day. Apparently it was planned but they forgot to tell me or maybe I’m not that important anymore… who knows! So I offered my help and it was well received and accepted.

First it was two walls of the family room. Then it was another wall from the dinning room. Then it was the whole bathroom we have downstairs. Then it was one more wall of the kitchen. Actually J since you’ve done such a great job why don’t you finish painting the kitchen. It’s just a couple of more walls, you will do it in a blink. Wow J, who knew you could paint so nice without being messy.

‘Ah, I love how the house looks now. So pretty and fresh’ - mom

I have to give props to my ipod which music, passions and rhythms made this whole scam more fun.

The Medical Sciences Campus is having a huge Halloween party for their students. Last year it was great. I want to go, I know it will be super fun and all my classmates and friends are going to be there. I’m not so sure about it though. I’m scared like you have no idea.

Last night I was doing an inventory of all the costumes we have in our house. Counting my mom’s, both of my sisters and mines. There is a lot! Since I didn’t have the time or brains to get a costume this year (and there is not effing way that I will go to party city and spend my precious time there making a 10 hour line) I will probably be recycling one from the past years. I’m still not sure about which one. My sister has sexy cop and sexy arbitrator, my little sister (yes, her clothes fit me) has cute lady bug with leggings underneath, rag doll and pirate and my mom has Greek goddess, devil, witch and prisoner. In my closet I found sexy gladiator, sexy pirate, sexy rainbow doll and sexy Greek goddess.

What do you think?? Give me ideas…
I can’t really think much right now.